EP 30: How to Handle Conflict, Controversy and Polarization

In the season finale, Tanya shares her biggest takeaways from the podcast, starting with her most controversial episode on vaccines with Dr Sherri Tenpenny (ep 22). 

She shares why it’s so important for all voices to be heard, and how she as a leader is standing in her truth whilst holding space for different viewpoints. Now more than ever, the world needs more neutral, safe and sacred spaces and this is why circle is the space within which we can collectively come together and heal.

 

 

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Consider/Ask Yourself: 

Do you feel uncomfortable when someone expresses an opinion different to yours?

Do you feel that leaders need to remain neutral on certain issues?

How do you expand your capacity to hold space for yourself and others when your emotions feel in conflict? 

 

Tanya’s Question: 

How can she be fully self expressed in her leadership and truth, and not feel triggered when someone challenges  that?

 

Tanya’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She celebrates the closing of Season 1 of the podcast and thanks her team, and listeners for all their support. 

She reflects on the lessons she can take away from the last 6 months. 

She felt Dr Sherri Tenpenny’s interview was controversial and polarizing.

The interview confirmed for her that to be a brave woman means to be passionate about what you believe in and that you are fully self-expressed with your voice. No holding back.

By taking a stand, and voicing her beliefs, she’s giving permission for others to do the same. It’s not about who’s right or wrong. 

If she remains open to opposition dialogue, she creates space for all voices to be heard.

She believes that our society doesn’t honour debate as much. If we feel triggered by being part of a debate, we either leave or feel that we have to make the other person wrong. 

She draws from her teachings of vipashyana of allowing feelings to rise and fall, and be witnessed. 

She reflects on what it means to be neutral as a leader, and facilitator. 

She loves living in a diverse world, with different cultures, that she can travel to and experience. 

Her stand for circle, diversity and honoring different cultures comes from her experiences living abroad and being discriminated against based on her race. 

She believes that circle is a wheel of co-creative leadership. 

Different points of view can both be equally true and valid. 

As navigates through her marriage, she recognises she can either choose to be right, or choose to be in the space of open-hearted love. From there she can identify her needs. 

She likes to be around people who don’t think like her, who challenge her thoughts and beliefs, and keep her humble. 

For her, a big part of leadership is humility and honoring multiple perspectives. 

She believes a skill that leaders and facilitators need to learn is how to hold opposite emotions within ourselves, listen to other points of view and how to sit with conflict.

She feels she is open to hearing what anyone wishes to share with her.

She believes that the world needs more people who are able to hold neutral, safe and sacred spaces. 

Circle is the place where people can come, let go of their personality patterns and just be themselves. 

She shares that being present is the key to navigating through any conversation. 

She learned how to let emotions flow through her and be with them without attachment by practising vipassana. 

She believes that by holding uncensored space we can find healing for our inner child who wants to find significance and belonging. 

Her takeaway is that if someone shares with her they don’t believe what she’s saying, she’s going to ask, tell me more about that. 

She will hold space, and be present instead of feeling triggered or attacked. 

Her biggest fear as a leader is that she will be attacked, persecuted, essentially burnt at the stake. 

Being a brave woman, for her, is about standing in her truth, holding opposites, expanding, growing, learning and keeping an open heart. 

 

How to be BRAVE:

Stand in your truth as a leader and fully express who you are. By doing so you’re giving permission for others to do the same. 

Be open, curious and present to others who may hold a different point of view.

Allow any emotions that arise to flow through you instead of feeling triggered. 

Remember that we all want to be loved, and feel that we belong in the world, even if we have different ways of expressing that. 

 

Takeaways For You:

You don’t need to feel triggered when you step into a debate with others who hold differing opinions to yours. 

By voicing your truth, and holding space for others to do the same, you create a world where all voices are heard. 

When you learn to let your emotions flow through you, you expand your capacity to hold opposites. 

Each person’s truth is valid, there is no right or wrong. Just different perspectives and truths. When you move to open hearted love, you can identify what our needs are.

When you feel triggered, you need to see that person as the messenger, and take responsibility for how you feel. 

Holding opposites expands your capacity to hold space for others. 

Being curious when someone shares they’re “cancelling” or “unsubscribing” from you and asking them, tell me more about that. 

Being a brave woman means being neutral when others disagree with what you say and standing in your truth. 

 

Resources:

Dave Asprey: I’m Coming Out as Vi-Curious 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CPMKV2-n3i1/ 

 

Karen Brody: Daring to Rest: Reclaim Your Power with Yoga Nidra Rest Meditation

http://daringtorest.com/book 

 

Steven Kessler: The 5 Personality Patterns

https://the5personalitypatterns.com/ 

 

@tanyapaluso on Instagram 

@sistershipcircle on Instagram 

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