I was scared to have a daughter

I was scared to have a daughter.
I was scared that she would grow up like me wanting to be a boy instead.
I was scared that she would hate her body and stop eating to be more skinny like the models she sees on TV.
I was scared that she would become a mean girl and become exclusive and catty at school.
I was scared that she would have sex too soon and become labeled a slut.
I was scared that she would be ashamed that her boobs were too small or too big.
I was scared that she would be too emotional and then shut down and go numb because she feels like she is too much and needs to tone it down.
I was scared that she would be disillusioned by romantic fairy tales and a man would never be good enough for her because she was waiting for her prince charming to ride up on his white horse.
I was scared that she would never have a fair advantage as a girl.
I was scared that she would never speak her truth in fear of what others would think.
I was scared that she would always be guarded because it is unsafe as a girl in the big bad world.
I was scared that she would want a different mother.
I was scared that she would never know her self-worth.
I was scared.

But then I had a daughter 13 months ago and my whole perspective changed. I saw that while I could not save her from the magazine ads or the boys at school, what I could do is be the woman whom she could admire. I could be the role model of an empowered woman. I could be the woman whom she’d one day want to be like … in her own unique way.

I could be the example of a woman who loves being a woman because of my ability to feel so much and love so deeply.

I could be the example of a woman who loves her body because it provides sustenance for another human being and can create life itself.

I could be the example of a woman who loves her work because it helps and supports other women to be their best selves.

I could be the example of a woman who loves her husband because he is the perfect match for me with all his flaws, imperfections, and quirks.

I could be the example of a woman who loves her sisters because they cheer me on instead of put me down.

I could be the example of a woman who believes in humanity because we are all good people doing the best we can.

I could be the example of a woman who expresses herself fully because I know my voice matters.

I could be the example of a woman who believes in herself because I was born a woman.

I could be the example.

Someday, when she’s older, I’ll be able to look her into her eyee and tell her how magnificent she is for no other reason than that she was born. And she has nothing to fear, hide, or be ashamed of because she is a woman. She was born a woman for a reason. And there’s nothing else I’d rather have her be.

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