Debunking the myth that women’s circles should be free

More and more women are gathering together in circles these days. As we train women to facilitate circles at Sistership Circle, the most common question we get asked is: should I charge for circle or not?

Many women subscribe to the belief that women’s circle should be free. The reasons are that sisterhood should not be commoditized and all women should be able to attend, regardless of income status. By having circles be free, everyone is equal.

But not all circles are created equal. Some circles are very potent and transformational. Some are not. Some are more advanced than others. Some have different intentions.

The blanket statement that ALL women’s circles should be free is simply not true, and I’d like to make a case for the paid ones.

First I want to be clear: I’m not talking about “gifting circles” where a woman pays x amount to enter the circle and then when the circle splits after 3-4 times, she receives that amount times 8 new women who come into the circle.

I’m talking about good ol’ fashion women’s circles where everyone gathers in a physical circle in someone’s living room or in a park on a sunny afternoon to pass a talking stick around and share what’s on their heart.

Reason #1: You are getting value

If you go to circle and you leave feeling filled up, connected, recharged and transformed, then you received value.

If you go to circle and a connection comes out of it that you didn’t have before like a new friend, a new client, or a new resource, then you received value.

If you go to circle and cry your eyes out, releasing some pent up energy that’s been there for a long time, then you received value.

If you go to circle and share a shameful secret that you’ve told no one before and you finally feel free, then you received value.

If you go to circle and get a hug after having a terrible day, then you received value.

When you get value, you want to thank the source. If you went to a restaurant, it’s customary to leave a tip for good service, right? Why not make it customary to tip your facilitator for rocking your world at circle?

Reason #2: The importance of an exchange in energy

The facilitator has put in a ton of time and energy to put together this circle. There is all the effort she put in to gather the women by making phone calls, creating a Facebook event and sending messages. Then there is the time she put in to get there early and set up the space. She also probably spends time cleaning up. That’s not even counting the energy she put in to create the intention and any activities and then hold the space to create an amazing experience.

True, circle facilitators are doing this from their heart because they love the work. They are receiving by giving.

However, there is something about creating an exchange of energy. To give an offering in exchange for the offering. It’s an honoring of the process, an acknowledgement of the time, energy and effort that went in to create this space for you to come sit in.

Know that it will come back to you in the form of someone honoring and acknowledging your offering when you create something.

Reason #3: Breaking the cycle of poverty-mindset amongst women

Imagine for a moment if the wealth of the world shifted into the hands of spiritually-gifted women. What would change? What would become possible?

Right now, we live in a world that exchanges energy through forms of currency (money). So why not empower more women to have more money so we can do more good in the world with it? Money is not evil. There is nothing wrong with having it.

We, as women, do not need to be broke. We do not need to be poor to prove ourselves spiritual. When we buy into the poverty-mindset, we put ourselves at a disadvantage in the world. We are not serving anyone by being poor, especially ourselves.

To break the cycle, we must start to see the truth about money, that it is a form of energy and it comes back to you when you give it away. When we horde it, we are living in scarcity. When we hold onto it in fear of losing it, we are blocking more of it from coming in.

What if you considered it a tithe, giving it to thank the source for feeding your soul? What if you blessed it, giving it to tell the universe that you are open to receiving more of it?

Reason #4: Put your dollars behind a cause to see it thrive

Women have no problem paying for a haircut, a yoga class, or even a drink at the bar, so why not pay a sister for sharing her gift with the world? When we pay for a circle, we are supporting the cause of sisterhood in the world. We are saying “yes, I am a believer in this movement and I want more of it.” Just like donating to a non-profit you believe in, we want that cause to thrive. In the case of circle, it’s not just about thriving but surviving.

Reason #5: Support a sister’s livelihood

That woman facilitating is trying to make a living. She may have other mouths to feed. She has to put a roof over her head. She may have to take another job that she dislikes to make ends meet. She’s doing whatever it takes. What if her sisters supported her in just being in her sweet spot as a facilitator? What if instead of having to spend her energy working another job, she got freed up by her community so she could focus on becoming a better facilitator and creating more space to serve more women in the world? Isn’t that what we want? More empowered women to make the world a better place?

If you are thinking: well what about me and my livelihood? This is not to say that you don’t also have to make a living. But the key here is that it will come back to you when you freely support someone in this way. There is more than enough to go around and it will come back around to you.

Women’s empowerment is emotional, energetic, spiritual and financial. Let’s take care of one another. If circle is about lifting one another up and celebrating each other’s brilliance, then let’s support each other financially as well. Together we will change the paradigm so spiritual women are thriving, creating a new example of what wealth can look like for the next generation.

Additional Resources

8 Step Blueprint to Running a Circle Business
7 Secrets to Manifest More Women to Your Circle
Bari Tessler on The Art of Money and Financial Happiness
Jacquette Timmons on Financial Intimacy and Managing Your Money
“Let’s Talk About Money: Why You Should Charge for Your Circles and How” video

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