It was the first week of June 2013. Karen Solomon and I sat outside on my couch eating a delicious shrimp, tomato and quinoa dish I had prepared and we were talking about my recent breakup with a man who did not want kids.
Without much of a lead in, she dropped a bomb on me: “So do you want to have kids?”
“I don’t know.”
“Tanya, I invite you to get off the fence and really choose for yourself. Otherwise you’ll attract another man into your life who doesn’t want kids and then you’ll end up like me at 50 regretting being an I-don’t-know.”
I took a deep breath and said, “YES!”
As soon as I claimed it, the fear rushed in.
I didn’t want to give up my work in order to have children the way my mom did. It felt like an either/or.
The truth was, I was so exhausted, burned out and confused about my life and business. Something was way off. I saw the impact I made in the world with Tribal Truth, but I felt completely unfulfilled. Being broke didn’t help. Not calling in the right man didn’t help either. I simply wasn’t congruent with the woman who I wanted to be.
I knew something needed to shift, but it was a blindspot. How could I possibly have a successful business AND raise a family? I didn’t have the answer and I knew I needed help.
A few days later, I met with a well-renown healer whom my sister-in-law recommended, Barry Green, who said the magic words that changed the rest of my life:
“You’ve done all this work on yourself for the past 8 years Tanya, but you’ve just been scratching the surface. You haven’t truly gone to the root of your pain and suffering. You have incredible awareness but it’s all mental, not embodied. Are you ready to go to the root and be free?”
Duh. Yes of course!
For the next 9 months of my life, I systematically worked on releasing and replacing all of my limited beliefs, and healing what I call my “mother and father wounding.” It was the deepest, most liberating work I have done on myself.
Right before the process completed, I met my husband. A few weeks later my book came out and Sistership Circle was born.
Coincidence? I don’t think so.
I realized that I had all the raw materials, but my programming had blocked me from stepping into my full potential and putting all the raw materials into form. But through doing the deep inner work, everything externally came into alignment … and in rapid fire succession.
I was on the accelerator path and things literally shifted in quantum leaps over the next couple years.
Man showed up.
Business formed.
Babies showed up.
Family formed.
Money showed up.
But that’s not all. For years, I had lost touch with my joy, innocence, and purity. I forgot the truth of who I was. Miserable didn’t even come close to describing how I felt.
Today, I am glowing. Joy is easily accessible. I am fully embodied in my soul purpose. The inner and outer alignment are palpable.
And when challenges come up (because they always will), I have the tools and the capacity from doing the deeper work to handle them effectively, and not let them stop me.
This is what I want for all women to experience. And this is why I created Mastery of Circle Leadership.
Being a circle leader is so much greater than running women’s circles, retreats, workshops and programs.
It’s about creating a FULL and VIBRANT circle of life for yourself and others.
When you MASTER your inner work, your world starts to reflect your TRUTH.
When you MASTER yourself, women naturally start to show up at your circles and your business starts to grow effortless.
This is what I’m here to MODEL and TEACH.
Here are five tools I use to expand my capacity to handle any challenge:
Feel the full range of emotions
No emotion is too much, too heavy, or too overwhelming. My emotions are my power. I feel all the feels. I honor my grief and rage as much as I do my joy and ecstasy. The moment you allow yourself to feel instead of numb, you gain freedom and expand your capacity.
Stop hiding
You can see me in my weakness, you can see me in my shame. I’m not going to pretend to have it all together and only come out with my makeup on. The moment you allow the world to see all parts of you, you become unstoppable.
Understand the source of overwhelm
When I’m distressed, I go into overwhelm and I developed a strategy to cope with that overwhelm. I get hijacked and lose presence. The moment you gain awareness of your source of overwhelm and strategy to deal with it, you can stop it to come back to presence and power.
Stop compartmentalizing
My life is my circle is my business is my life. There is no separation. I aim to show up the same no matter if I’m at home, online or in circle. The moment you stop putting everything in separate containers, your whole world opens up and feels more spacious.
See every breakdown as an opportunity for breakthrough
My breakdown is not the end of me. It’s the beginning. The world is not trying to take me down. I trust in life. I trust that everything is happening FOR me. The moment you stop making your breakdowns wrong, you become empowered to effectively handle them.
