EP34: Steven Kessler on 5 Personality Patterns: Understanding Yourself and Others

Steven Kessler has been studying people his whole life. As early as the 9th grade, he was attending the school plays night after night to learn more about people’s emotions. After a stint studying physics at MIT, he transferred to acting school at Boston University for his undergraduate degree. After four years as an actor and lighting designer in the New England Repertory Theatre, he decided to delve even deeper into the human psyche by getting his MA in Transpersonal Psychology. For almost 30 years, he’s been a licensed psychotherapist, studying many different healing modalities and maps of personality, including Character Structure, the Enneagram, NLP, energy work, Thought Field Therapy, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). He is a certified EFT Expert & Trainer.

Steven has also spent many years studying the evolution of human consciousness. For over 30 years he has pursued various spiritual and meditation practices, including 16 years in the Diamond Heart meditation school. For over 10 years, he has been a student of Lynda Caesara, studying Character Structure, the direct perception of energy, and shamanism in the lineage of Grandfather Two Bears and the Southern Seers tradition.

Since 1984 Steven has taught hundreds of groups and workshops in the US and internationally, helping men and women heal their wounds and grow into their full adult selves. More recently he has taught over 100 classes and workshops training other therapists in the use of EFT. From 2006 to 2010, Steven left his private practice for 2-3 months a year to work on US military bases both in North America and overseas, helping the soldiers and their families heal the wounds of war.

His bestselling book, The 5 Personality Patterns, deepens the insights of character structure and, for the first time, presents its map of the human personality to the general public. Many people claim that reading it has been a life-changing experience, which has enabled them to finally understand both themselves and others.

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In this episode, Steven shares:  

* How to experience ourselves as Presence, instead of as a prisoner of our patterns

* How to let go of needless suffering

* Why we are not all the same

* 5 main things you can do to try to feel safer that become the primary safety strategies that all people resort to

* The difference between these 5 patterns and personality types, like Meyers-Briggs or the Enneagram

* How to regain control of your life

* How to behave toward others to get what you want


4:16- Why is this book so important?
8:17- More compassion for eachother
13:00- How personality patterns develop
23:56- Identifying with your patterns
24:35- Watch what you do when you’re under stress
34:13- What is presence?
37:56- The difference between being present and being in a pattern
41:20- Tools for presence
43:47- You don’t have to stay stuck
44:10- Your light is available to you


Visit Steven’s website here

Three Keys to Relating Skillfully to ANYONE – A free workshop here

Get the 5 Personality Patterns book here

UPDATE From Steve: “The quiz employed the software of the Tributr website, but the software crashed several years ago and the website owners abandoned it.  Since then I have directed people to my article on how to discern their patterns, which is probably better in the long run, anyway.  You can find it at https://the5personalitypatterns.com/how-to-discern-your-patterns/”

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