3 Steps to Freedom Through Boundaries

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Tomorrow is the New Moon in Capricorn, a potent time for ritual to create some serious order in our lives.

One of Capricorn’s “lessons” is acceptance of the concept that reasonable boundaries and rules actually do offer us freedom – freedom from worry and chaos.

In these times of uncertainty, creating safe bubbles, structure and boundaries in your life can help you ground into yourself and feel centered despite any external circumstances.

Are you struggling to set boundaries at work, with clients, with your partner, or with kids?

We know that boundaries are important for the success of our business and relationships, but that doesn’t make setting them any easier.

At the core of dysfunctional boundaries is a lack of self-worth.

You have prioritized someone else’s needs over your own.

You have learned (most likely from your mother), that your role is to meet other’s needs over your own.

If you do not think you are worthy and deserving of having what you want and need, then you will continue to have weak boundaries … that is until someone drives you to your edge and you put up a hard wall, a barrier.

Not healthy.

Barriers are different than boundaries in that they close your heart and block connection. Healthy boundaries are coming from love and honoring of both self and other.

Here’s 3 steps to start setting boundaries:

1️⃣ identify what you need to fill your cup

What will make you feel good? What will center and ground you? What will provide you nourishment?

Think of yourself as a tree providing shelter for others. What does that tree need to sustain itself so it can continue to be that source to others?

2️⃣ set aside & prioritize time for you to meet your own need first

That’s right, schedule it. Just like any other appointment. Treat it as sacred. Guard it. No one and nothing will take precedent.

Practice holding that boundary for getting that need met on a daily basis.

It will strengthen the muscle of believing in yourself as worthy and deserving.

3️⃣ speak lovingly and let others know they matter

You can remain connected to someone by honoring both your needs.

Try:

To friend: “I’m not available at that time, but here’s another time I am available for you.”

To friend/community member/client: “I would love to help hold space for you, but my time is valuable and I do this for a living. You can sign up for a coaching session with me where I can dedicate 100% of my time and energy toward supporting you.”

To partner: “I’m going to go on a walk every M, W and F from 6-7am for my self-care so I am a better wife & mother. Can you do breakfast for the kids those mornings? Is there anything you need from me to make this a win win for both of us?”

What boundary are you struggling to set in your life?

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In sistership,

Tanya Lynn

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