Last week my family went to Emandal Farm — a beautiful 1000 acre property about 3 hours north of San Fransisco — to celebrate my moms 70th birthday.
I had mixed emotions about taking off the week leading up to Sistership Circle Day, knowing there was no cell service.
I had to trust that the team would hold strong in my absence.
I checked in on Wednesday and found everything running smoothly and let go.
Then on Thursday something magical happened.
The Power of Vulnerability
I put on my “Vulnerability is sexy” tanktop … hesitating as I thought that I may get judged for wearing it.
I stopped myself from getting sucked into the worry with the thought: “But you’ll never see these people again.” And I dismissed all the fear, doubt and worry.
Right before dinner, a woman points at my shirt and says to me, “oh my god! I’m studying that and we were just talking about it!”
We then start talking about the power of vulnerability in circle.
I sit down for dinner and another woman has the same reaction.
Turns out, there is a huge group who come to Emandal every year for the past 15 years and they were just talking about vulnerability.
They ask me to give them a workshop the next day after lunch.
I’m a little nervous.
One woman is a senior advisor for the president of another country. The other just discovered a cure for a type of skin cancer.
These are powerful, extraordinary women.
And they want circle.
Show vs. Tell
We sit down under a tree and they tell me they want to hear what I have to say about vulnerability and how they can bring it into their lives.
But the best way to learn about vulnerability is to experience it. So instead of telling them, I show them through a circle experience.
I ask them to share their current struggle. The first woman immediately starts crying, surprising herself for getting so emotional. But that’s what happens when you are in a safe space and your intention is to learn vulnerability.
After a round of shares, I have them pair up and acknowledge each other.
When one of the women was acknowledging her partner as if she was a sibling, I asked her to come from her own experience as her friend.
She burst into tears.
This was the first time in 20 years her friends had ever seen her cry.
The circle experience was so simple and yet so profound.
All because of a shirt that I thought would be judged.
They want what I have
No one knew who I was, and when they heard what I did, they believed in it and wanted it.
I energetically owned what I did when I said yes to wearing the shirt and attracted women who wanted what I had.
It comes down to how you carry yourself in the world — with every cell of your body — people will feel that and magnetize toward it.
It became a stealth marketing tool for impromptu circle that could transform even the toughest women on the planet.
The truth is, we all want to feel connected, we all want to feel seen, heard and loved.
And vulnerability leads to connection. It’s the thing humans are all seeking even if they don’t know it.
5 Ways to Get Vulnerable
There are 5 ways that we can feel empowered in our vulnerability, where it will transform us and help us create the connection we are yearning for … both within ourselves and with others.
Share your struggles
Sometimes, you may think that you are the only one who has this struggle, which brings up shame. “I should have my shit together,” “I should be past this already,” and “Will they look down on me?” are some of the thoughts that have you shut down and want to hide … keeping you from sharing your struggles. But the opposite is true. We connect through human suffering. It is a relief when you share that weight that you are holding, and in the process, you also find that you are not alone. You find that others are going through something similar, and so your heart opens and you let go of the shame that keeps you shut down and you start to find the way out of the darkness.
Share your wins or what Mama Gena calls your “brags”
You may be afraid to share a big celebration in fear of having others feel less than, and so bragging in our culture is deemed inappropriate. It’s vulnerable to share when you have success because in that moment you feel like you are sticking out, exposed. But in our Sistership Circle culture of women empowering women, one woman’s win is a win for all women. You shining gives other women permission to shine.
Ask for what you need
Identifying what you need, asking for it and then receiving it is one of the hardest things for women because we have been taught to be self-sacrificing martyrs where it is better to be selfless and to put others first. So when it comes down to asking for support, we struggle. It feels vulnerable. You may feel afraid of being rejected or feel unworthy of receiving. This is the edge to lean into because when you claim what you needs and desires, you step into your sovereign queendom.
Share acknowledgements and appreciations
You probably do not get enough apprecation for who you are what what you do. You probably don’t tell the people in your life how much you love them and appreciate them either. This is why when we give heartfelt acknowledgements of one another, we feel empowered. We feel seen. And it’s extremely vulnerable to both give and receive these words of love because they bring up the tears of gratitude. They bring up the remorse that we didn’t share it before.
Receive support, love, and appreciation
On the receiving end, it feels vulnerable to receive appreciation because it brings up the tenderness of the little girl who desperately wants love and attention (because she didn’t always get it from mom and dad growing up). So that little girl inside does everything she can to pretend like she doesn’t need help, she’s got this, she’s not an attention whore, pepetuating the vicious cycle of the lone wolf who closes her heart and feels depleted from constantly giving and not getting anything in return. What you’ll realize is by acknowledging that little girl inside as worthy of receiving love and attention, you give her permission to let it in and soak it up, and in return you’ll notice the abundance all around you, able to receive it and fill your cup.
Over to you …
Which of these 5 areas feels most vulnerable to you? Which one can you implement this week? Do you have a story of how you have been empowered in your vulnerability that you can share to inspire other women in our community? Share in the comments below.
Share with a sister
Forward this to a woman in your life who means something to you and take that opportunity to appreciate who she is for you. Let her know she’s worthy of receiving and that it’s safe for her to be vulnerable with you. Watch as your relationships feel more connected, inspired and alive.