Chances are if you are reading this, you have experienced a spiritual awakening and are on a spiritual journey, here to discover and fulfill on your soul’s purpose.
Because your lens of life has changed, you want others to also “wake up” and see the world from your shiny new lens.
However, this is a slippery slope, one that can actually become egoic in nature.
There is a shadow in the spiritual community, one that can be sneaky and become quite dangerous.
It’s called Spiritual Superiority.
During the course of human history, religious peoples who have “woken up” to the truth of God, have then thought their religion as the best.
They then think that it is their God given right to convert anyone who does not share in those religious beliefs.
This is patriarchal brainwashing at its finest, and it is seeping into our culture today as more and more people become “spiritual.”
The lens is me-centered.
It’s focused on my journey, my experience, my beliefs.
This is an illusion.
It creates more separation and division in the world, not what you are necessarily intending. As women leaders devoted to the rise of the divine feminine, we are not here to perpetuate the patriarchy, but to shift to a more harmonious circle culture where we value ourselves and each other.
Holding the individual and the collective, the Me and the We.
So how do we shift this pervasive Spiritual Superiority in ourselves and our culture?
Here are 5 ways you may unknowingly be practicing Spiritual Superiority and how to stop:
Converting
You have had an awakening, and you want your family and friends to wake up so you are on the same page. It’s hard when your parents are stuck in old worldviews. You don’t feel seen and heard, you feel like an outcast.
But chances are, you were always “different.” Now you are just covering up that insecurity with a spiritual mask of superiority.
It is not your job to convert anyone. They are on their own journey with their own divine timing.
Your job is to keep doing the inner work and see what they are mirroring back to you. Everytime they trigger you, it’s an opportunity to grow.
Coaching
I went on a walk with a new sister and was sharing some vulnerable things with her to open up the field of intimacy with her so we could go deeper.
The next day, she texts me telling me how she can help me solve those issues by being my coach.
I felt betrayed at that moment. I wasn’t looking for her to coach me. I was looking for her friendship.
When we are “awake” to the truth, we can start to see where others are suffering and how we can use our spiritual tools to help them.
But do you have their trust? Is she open? Does she want your support?
There is a fine line that you have to be conscious of.
If you think that you have the answer, check in with yourself of where you are coming from. And then be mindful of the relationship when you make an offer.
Fixing
Too often in spiritual circles, women jump in to save someone crying. They want to offer their opinion, feedback and experience.
But most of the time, all that woman wants is a safe space to let go and be witnessed.
At Sistership Circle, we use the beam instead of giving feedback to create trust in the space. Each woman has the answers within herself and by not giving feedback, she can start to hear and trust her own inner wisdom.
When you give unsolicited advice and feedback, you are coming from the martyr role in the Karpman Drama Triangle.
Which means you are putting her in the victim role; she’s someone who you see as broken and needs fixing.
The key is for you to ask permission before giving feedback to anyone.
Spiritual Bypassing
In Encinitas CA, where I’m from, a world-renown spiritual town where Swami built the Self-Realization Center back in the 1960s and there are more yoga studios than you can count, people come in droves for the high vibe culture of kirtans, yoga, ecstatic dance, cuddle parties and tantric workshops.
When they get a taste of the ecstatic energy, they feel blissful and more alive than they could have ever dreamed of.
They fall head over heels in love with the light and can’t tolerate anything “less than.”
Except this isn’t spiritual bliss, this is spiritual bypassing.
Typically, during the early stages of spiritual awakening, when it feels like you are wrapped in a blanket of love and light, you don’t want to let that feeling end. You become attached to it.
In Vipassana meditation, you learn that we are either pushing away unpleasant sensations, or craving pleasant sensations.
Both of these actions – the pushing and pulling are the same.
Instead, true spiritual development is about the ability to respond with equanimity. To not resist or crave, to not react either way.
The true spiritual warrior is not afraid of going into the darkness of pain and suffering, but sees it as a part of the journey.
The more you can be with your own hydra pain, the more compassion you can develop for others’ pain.
Cutting off & Ghosting
High vibe tribe has become a popular meme, but has the ring of the popularity club in high school.
All of a sudden, you feel too good for anyone who is in a lower vibration than yourself. Anything less than is not worth your time and you are proud of yourself for finding boundaries to protect your energy.
Except you are just perpetuating judgment, division and separation.
No, you do not need to be friends with everyone.
No, you do not need to say yes to everyone.
No, you do not need to hang out with energy vampires who suck the life force out of you.
Yes, your time and energy is sacred.
Yes, you need to learn how to set healthy boundaries.
Yes, you need to learn spiritual maintenance techniques to keep your energy separate from others.
But notice the inner dialogue underneath.
Are you triggered by someone and projecting that onto her?
Are you resistant and don’t want to deal with the conflict?
Are you putting up a barrier instead of a boundary to protect yourself?
The spiritual journey never ends. The greatest masters all say that they are perpetual students.
When you get triggered, do the work. Get in touch with what you are really feeling. Examine that and take responsibility.
For us to shift out of the patriarchal conditioning of spiritual superiority, we must consciously choose to walk the path of Spiritual Integrity. This includes:
Look within
Constant self-reflection asking yourself: what is the mirror here?
Acceptance
When you judge someone else, you are really judging some part of yourself: what part of you can you love and accept unconditionally?
Lean in
Your deepest wounds come from the original relationship with your mother and father, therefore, healing occurs within relationship. It will continue to chase you until you look someone straight in the eye and see yourself staring back at you and find the love in your heart.
Be Humble
Remember where you were; you were once asleep. You are still not perfect. It takes self-worth to practice humility.
Practice Non-violent Communication
Face your fears and speak your truth with love. Become a master at taking responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and needs in your communication.
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We are all here as a human family on this planet, going through a collective initation and spiritual evolution. Some of us are ahead on the journey. Some of us have gained more tools. That doesn’t make us better than anyone else.
We must lead the way with grace, humility, and love. Always love.
Share your truth
How has Spiritual Superiority shown up in your life? What other ways do you practice Spiritual Integrity?
