EP 27: How to Heal Sexual Trauma and Rediscover Pleasure in the Bedroom

In this episode Tanya coaches Heather to release old trauma from being sexually abused during her childhood. Heather learns to reclaim her voice and body for pleasure, and how to ask her partner for support in her reclamation. 

This is an intense transformational process, please prepare yourself by sitting in a sacred place and breathing deeply if anything comes up for you. 



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Consider/Ask Yourself: 

Do you find yourself zoning out when being intimate with a partner?

Do you struggle to fully express your sexuality?

Do you feel you need to release old trauma from your body?


Heather’s Question: 

How does she reclaim her voice and body for her own pleasure?


Heather’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She was abused by her adopted father as a child. 

She was sexually assaulted during her time in the military. 

She believed that the only way to receive approval from men was through sex. 

She has struggled to enjoy sex for most of her life. 

She now has a wonderful partner who is very loving and supportive. 

She wants to feel comfortable expressing her sexuality without feeling guilty. 

She recognises that she checks out when having sex. 

Her partner notices when this happens. 

She’s been in therapy exploring her childhood trauma. 

She feels her childhood experience in her throat and heart area. 

She feels afraid, ashamed and confused.

Her feelings feel caught in her throat, she releases them through her voice and sound. 

She feels immense sadness and grief that she didn’t feel protected or safe as a child. 

She’s experienced anxiety and panic attacks as an adult. 

Her breath has been caught in her body because she hasn’t felt safe. 

She pictures her Yoni as a very delicate prickly pear. 

She likes the idea of asking her partner to honour her Yoni and ask for permission to touch and enter her. 

She’s going to watch tension and trauma release videos on YouTube to help release some of the trauma in her body. 

She feels looser in the chest. 

She understands how her trauma has been stored on a cellular level in her body. 

She can use her voice and breath to somatically release her trauma from her body.


How to be BRAVE:

Recognise where you may be feeling triggered or numb when expressing your sexuality. 

Notice where you feel and experience that in your body. 

Breathe into the feelings. 

Ask the feelings how they want to be released from your body.

Use sound, and/or movement to express your feelings and feel them all. 

Use tools such as TRE (see resources below) to continue to release your feelings. 

Share what you need with your partner in order for you to feel safe to express your full sexuality. 


Takeaways For You:

Trauma can be stored in the body on a cellular level and can cause us to feel trapped in  freeze, flight or fight mode. 

To release trauma you need to tap into the connection between body, mind and spirit and somatically release it from your body.

Using sound and movement is incredibly powerful to voice and then release trauma. 

You can ask your partner to support you in honouring, revering and respecting your body.

Only when your body feels safe, will you be able to enjoy sex and your expression of your sexuality. 



Tension & Trauma Release Exercises – YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeUioDuJjFI 

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