Burn out, exhaustion and overwhelm are symptoms of patriarchy

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Last week, I noticed myself in a pattern. With a laundry list of things to do before we move in a week, I was ignoring my body’s desire to rest. I was pushing through without taking any time for myself. And I sure wasn’t asking for what I needed.

This is the plight of the modern day woman.

We overwork ourselves, busying ourselves with too much on our plate, trying to do it all and be everything for everyone.

As a result, we suffer with chronic illness and fatigue.

Two years ago, I was experiencing severe adrenal fatigue and extreme burn out. So I started to do NET to get to the underlying root of the problem.

And here’s what I discovered:

Burn out, overwhelm and exhaustion are all symptoms of patriarchy.

Women have been conditioned to show up a certain way based on what is culturally accepted, and that is an antiquated model of patriarchy focused on hard work, dominance, oppression, aggression, competition and control.

This is passed down from generation to generation. It’s ingrained in us a deep cellular level, even though our bodies are not designed to fit in this model.

To fit in the model, we go into “The Pretense mode” where we wear a mask, covering up our authenticity and not revealing our true self.

The 5 P’s of Pretense are:

Please – cause to feel happy and satisfied.
Perfect – make (something) completely free from faults or defects, or as close to such a condition as possible.
Prove – demonstrate the truth or existence of (something) by evidence or argument.
Pass – checking out, hiding, leaving or avoiding any type of confrontation.
Perform – entertain an audience, typically by acting, singing, or dancing on stage.

The 5 P’s are the masks of the ego that we wear to fit in, gain approval, and feel significant. They are our ego’s strategies to keep us safe.

The Ego is the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.

Your ego is your conscious mind, the part of your identity that you consider your “self.”

Your ego works with “reason” to keep you safe.

And in a partriarchal society, it’s much more safe to be a man than a woman.

You have built an identity for yourself to find your place in this world.

So when we are trying to play the game and using these strategies, we tax our bodies and experience system overload.

Here are some of the ways this shows up and perpetuates the pattern:

🚫You’re out of balance with work, rest, & play cycles

🚫You’re focused too much on performance and proving yourself

🚫You’re doing things out of obligation and martyrdom

🚫You’re giving yourself away without setting healthy boundaries

🚫You haven’t identified your needs and desires, or you feel unworthy of receiving them

🚫You’re prioritizing what you think you should be doing over what you want to do

🚫You feel guilty for saying no to things

What if you no longer had to please others, be perfect, prove yourself worth, pretend that you’ve got it all together and perform like an actor to get attention?

If you let go of the identity that you’ve created for yourself and take off the mask, who would you be?

You would be your true self. You would honor yourself and see yourself as worthy of receiving.

This is the season to let go and shed. To let the old identity fall away.

To make a new choice. To create new patterns.

Instead of overworking and doing busy work, what if:

✅You’re tuned into your monthly cycle and take rest while bleeding or during the new moon

✅ You fill your cup through nourishing connection with sisters in circle

✅ You’re focused on authenticity and being real

✅ You ask for what you need to make something feel good and create partnerships of mutual respect

✅ You honor your time and energy and communicate upfront your boundaries and expectations

✅ You do ritual during the new and full moon to release what you are energetically holding onto and set intentions based on your desires

✅ You know what you want and claim your desire as your birthright

✅ You listen to your body wisdom and make decisions based on your intuition

We are at one of the most potent times of the year. And with Mars and Mercury both in retrograde, you may find yourself feeling stuck. Instead of resisting, what if you took this opportunity to slow down, receive support and make new choices that honor your body, mind and soul?

Would love to hear from you:

Which old pattern do you want to release for this cycle?

Which new choice do you want to claim?

In sistership,
Tanya Lynn

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