The Initiation of 2020

Photo Credit: Unknown

Have you ever received bad news that felt like the world was suddenly crumbling beneath your feet?

In July, we received a vacate notice from our landlords that we needed to move by the end of the year. This came as a shock and disappointment because we LOVE this house. The backyard, the garden, the chickens, the circle room … our safe and sacred haven.

After processing our grief, we got the message from the universe … it’s time to go … and started dreaming about Costa Rica.

Fast forward … after sitting in circle on Sept 19, I had this hit and shared it with Brent:

“I don’t think you are going to want to hear this, but I’m intuitively feeling we need to leave before November 1.”

Just as I thought, Brent shot it down. I shrugged; it wasn’t my timeline either. But nevertheless, I heard the whisper.

Then last weekend for our 5th wedding anniversary, we had a ceremony on Saturday night. Brent went into a sort of trance and started seeing past life and future visions. In the middle of his process, he said to me, “We are going to Costa Rica NOW.”

Well then!

Our flights are officially booked for Costa Rica on Oct 29 for a 3-month experience. 🎉 🤸‍♀️ 🎉

Many sychonicities have happened as we’ve been following the breadcrumbs. After watching the Down to Earth documentary on Netflix, I popped on the website for La Eco Villa and there was a place to rent. Eco Villa has about 40 international families living in community together, which I really want to experience. We’ll also be hanging at Rise where our friend David is developing 30 homes.

And …. the shadow immediately surfaced as well.

This is what is referred to as The Initiation.

Whenever I’ve followed a soul calling and did something that upleveled my life and leadership, I’ve had to move through major blocks.

Tracing back to some of those defining moments, I can see a pattern and feel a particular sensation in my body:

Anxiety.

Over the past couple months, I’ve been waking up with extreme anxiety. Almost like a panic attack.

So last Monday, I went to a NET session with my acupuncturist to get under this anxiety and we traced it back to when I was 8 years old and my grandparents didn’t talk to my family for a year.

I was so angry with my parents for not prioritizing my needs and making it right with my grandparents.

And here I was, repeating the pattern by leaving San Diego to go to Costa Rica.

No coincidence, my mom called the next day, expressing her anger and disappointment that we were leaving, fearing that we would never come back and she would lose her relationship with my girls.

Wham!

Then another withhold: a sister shared a list of complaints she had against me.

Wham!

Then Brent and I get into a fight because I’m not feeling supported through all this.

Wham!

And I’m wondering … should we cancel our trip? Is it worth it? Is it meant to be?

But I can see the pattern:

This same feeling came up when I closed Tribal Truth in 2013 and went into my dark night of the soul, right before I came out with my book and the birth of Sistership Circle.

This same feeling came up when I had a massive fight with my brother in 2016, right before I got pregnant with Summer and pivoted Sistership Circle with the first Feminine Uprising LIVE.

Whenever we are about to do something BIG, that feeling – whether it’s fear, anxiety, or doubt – comes up because our pain body is resisting the path of our soul.

It’s a trauma response. It feels too big and scary for the ego to handle.

When we are on purpose following the breadcrumbs and the breakdown happens, it doesn’t mean it’s not meant to be.

Just the opposite.

It means you are really close to a breakthrough. You are upgrading your system. Expanding your capacity.

You are breaking through the limited beliefs, the old codes, the past lineage that has held you back.

This anxiety is not who you are, it is what you learned.

These old patterns come up in the face of adversity as part of your initiation into your feminine leadership.

Why?

So you can heal, grow and expand. They will come up over and over again as part of your heroine’s journey.

I now see them for what they are:

Landmarks on my soul path, letting me know that I am moving in the right direction.

We have no idea why we are going there.
We have no idea why we feel called to be there before Nov 1.

But we are trusting in the unfolding of the mystery.

This is the divine feminine speaking to us and we’re listening.

For you my sister, you are also being initiated this year for what’s next on your soul path.

Collectively, we are right in the middle of a massive upgrade, a spiritual awakening, an initation.

Just like in the movies, we are all moving through Joseph Campbell’s The Hero’s Journey. Using his framework, we can put this year in perspective and use it as a guide for transformation. (This is how we set the context for How to Lead Circle and our other training programs.)

The Hero’s Journey has three stages:

The Departure Act where the hero leaves the ordinary world. This happened in March when we began “lock down.”

The Initiation Act where the hero ventures into unknown territory and is birthed into a true champion through various trials and challenges. This is the stage we are currently moving through.

The question for The Initiation is this: How will you move through the trials and challenges that you are facing right now? Who are you as you experience fear and anxiety?

Will you resist it and give it power, or face it and courageously rise up?

Will you surrender and trust the process, allowing the mystery to unfold?

Will you live your life fully and unapologetically, or constrict and limit yourself?

Will you play small or play your edge?

When you choose to rise up and trust the process, transformation occurs.

When you can see that any discomfort from the challenges is happening for you instead of to you, you have the opportunity to transform your mindset, your belief system and your way of being.

We receive the medicine from The Initiation. We awaken to the truth. And then we return back home to ourselves.

The Return Act happens when the hero returns in triumph. This is what’s on the other side.

The divine feminine is, and has been, rising. The witches, priestesses and medicine women are here for a reason, no longer hiding. We are coming out of the shadows and into the light.

Reclaiming our power.

Reclaiming our sovereignty.

Reclaiming our truth.

And with that, we create the new earth.

I look forward to hearing about your initiation, sister. Share your insights below.

In sistership,
Tanya Lynn

PS. The Brave Woman Podcast is coming soon … we need your help! Which cover art do you like the best?

>> Chose your favorite HERE

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