EP 37: Healing the Wounded Masculine

* How to Cultivate the Divine Masculine through Healing the Father Wound *

We can’t talk about the divine feminine without talking about the divine masculine.  This podcast episode explores two main questions: 1) where can I heal that wounded masculine within myself? and 2) how do I come into right relationship with the men in my life?



Podcast (audio): Download | Subscribe: iTunes | Android | RSS | Stitcher | Google Play | Spotify | TuneIn


In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • The difference between the toxic wounded masculine and the divine masculine
  • Why we don’t trust in a higher power and instead bow down to a certain God
  • How to get your man to do “the work”
  • How to honor your sacred rage without having it leak out and hurt others
  • The trap we get in as “daddy’s girl” and how to overcome it to heal our father wound


Tanya’s Key Insights and Ahas:

2:00 – Not about blaming the masculine, but differentiating the toxic/wounded masculine vs divine

3:00 – Toxic wounded masculine – expressed in our patriarchal culture – domination, control, suppression, competition, creating scarcity
masculine overcompensates from “there’s not enough”
asserting power over
supression of goddess and focus on god outside of ourselves
5:10 – men fight, compete, control, dominate, women develop these qualities to fit in
5:30 – heroine’s journey for women to unravel the conditioning
6:54 – 1) where can I heal that wounded masculine within myself? 2) how do I come into right relationship with the men in my life?
7:30 – if i’m doing the work, men mirror my divine masculine and are going to shift the way in which they show up
8:15 – if you see yourself surrounded by the wounded masculine, it’s a reflection of you. Don’t shoot the messenger, get the message
9:00 – healing your father wound
9:20 – 1 of 2 places wiith your father – toxic and he wasn’t there, or he was a good guy and you were daddy’s little girl
10:08 – my dad
11:00 – bow down to the god of hard work, body took a beating
13:55 – emotional disconnection – learning aggressive behavior and rigid pattern to follow the rules and get it right
 Vulnerabilty = weakness
Dont feel = injuries and sickness in the body
15:00 – fully feeling our feelings as a super power
15:45 – not personal to your father, not about him, he’s off the hook so you can do the work to unravel the conditioning
16:15 – grateful for privelge + covering up from doing the work
16:50 – the trap – want to protect our good fathers
17:30 – letting go of god of hard work as the savior “proving self” and not trusting in something higher
18:15 – sacred rage at the patriarchal conditioning to no longer be hostage, split from the feminine – surrender to the sacred rage
19:10 – for full emotional capacity, presence, go into sacred rage
20:20 – god and goddess as divine masculine and feminine
21:15 – intentional grounded power and presence that we are craving from men we create through our presence in our emotions from sacred rage to ecstatic joy – we can then hold the space for them to step into
23:45 – fearing god (Catholic) – examine our relationship with god and what we were taught
24:48 – purpose
25:10 – stripping away rites of passage, what it means to be a man
provide, protect, procreate
26:10 – if I want to embody being a woman leader on purpose, what did I learn from dad?
27:00 – stepping into forgiveness
no longer look for dad to save us, come into sovereign power and give us the emotional availability
accept him for who he is
allow him to rest in peace
28:52 – attract a man to be in partnership with (vs a man to save me)
29:35 – every time I think I am growing more than my husband and he can’t keep up with me – as soon as I let go of my judgments toward him and surrender, he comes back to me in presence with a breakthrough
every time I stop blame and take responsibility, he no longer resists
31:30 – it’s a man’s nature to conceal, a woman’s nature is to reveal
33:00 – vulnerability = revealing, the flower
woman – unravel the concealing to reveal ourselves
33:47 – the container
honoring the flag pole tethering and grounding us at the flag
honoring the structure
honoring the cup as a boundary
35:50 – wedding ring as a container for the marriage
36:20 – your body as a container for your soul’s expression
37:10 – come into union with self

How to be BRAVE:

Share in the comments:

What’s been your relationship with the masculine? Where are you blaming men and how instead can you take responsibility for yourself?


Takeaways For You:

The toxic wounded masculine is expressed in our patriarchal culture as domination, control, suppression, and competition. It comes from a scarcity belief that there is not enough. It asserts power over and suppresses the feminine. Our job as women is to look at how we have been conditioned from the wounded masculine and embrace the divine masculine within ourselves to inspire the men to do the same.



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Tanya Paluso

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