How to Deal with Major Life Circumstances and Transitions

I literally felt like the rug was ripped from underneath me. I felt wobbly in my root chakra, as if it was a bottomless pit.

Back in July, when we were asked to leave our home because the owners wanted to move back in, we felt devastated.

But soon, the possibility of spending the winter in Costa Rica became a reality. Brent had this idea for 5 years … and now was the time to cease this opportunity.

Once we made the decision, we had 3 weeks to pack everything up and put it into storage.

It felt super uncomfortable leaving our life in Encinitas. Family and friends, structure and routines.

The final week felt like the most stressful, intense week of moving ever. I questioned our decision, and wondered if we would actually have everything ready in time.

Traveling with a cat, two small children and 8 bags of luggage was no joke. My heart was racing as we checked in, this pit in my stomach that somehow we would not be able to get on the plane. My hands were shaking at security and I felt like I was about to burst into tears at any moment.

The next 48 hours of travel were hell. Simba – our cat – busted out of his travel bag … an overnight in Houston … a 5 hour drive to Dominical in the rain.

Finally, we arrived on Friday at 9pm, carrying the girls inside to their beds.

On Saturday, I fell apart. I sobbed. So did my daughter Kali, telling us she was homesick.

Did we made the right decision?

With my support and structure gone, how was I going to work?

How could I hold space for the programs I was leading when I felt so ungrounded and unclear?

Without a home, living out of a suitcase, how was I going to manage it all?

Transitions are tough.

No coincidence, we are beginning the second half of the How to Lead Circle Program this week where the women begin the process of starting their first circle.

Sometimes, life circumstances come up that make a woman in the program question whether she has the capacity to start her circle.

We think we have to be grounded, clear and stable in order to take action on our dreams.

But the opposite is true.

It’s actually that goal or dream, that creates the clarity. Like keeping our arrow aimed at the bullseye while riding fast on a horse through the rain.

It’s actually the circle that creates stability and grounding in the midst of transition, change and shifting circumstances.

The structure of the program – showing up on the calls – is my anchor when I feel like I’m spinning.

It’s the place for me to let go of the swirling thoughts and be present.

Here’s the 5-step process I took myself through to shift out of the mindset of overwhelm, confusion, and doubt and raise my vibration up to move forward powerfully no matter what circumstance:

1 – Find one thing you can control

When we feel out of control of our circumstances, we need to bring ourselves back to trusting the process.

But sometimes that is unfathomable.

So we have to find one thing we know we can control.

For me, it was cooking. So I went to the store, bought familiar food and made a delicious dinner for my family. That act of cooking grounded me and helped me to surrender as I felt like I finally had a grip on something.

2 – Release Emotions and Associated Beliefs

After an intense move, my nervous system felt hijacked. I felt like I was spinning like a top, all wound up. I was still trying to keep it together and avoid how I was feeling.

Finally, I caught myself in the act, and stopped to take a breath. I realized I just needed to cry. I needed to release.

I shared all the doubts and worries to my husband as he held me .. I cried and let it all drain out of me.

I felt the headache disappear, my body unwinding.

3 – Connect with community

Even though a tropical storm was on its way, we decided the next day to make the 75 minute drive to Rise to connect with our community.

This felt like a game changer.

It anchored our why for being here in Costa Rica.

My two sister friends living there held me and listened to me.

We went back to our house in Dominical that night inspired and uplifted after soaking up the good vibes from our friends.

Sometimes when we are in the shitstorm, we don’t want to be around other people. We’re afraid of being vulnerable or showing our mess.

But that’s the time when you need to lean into community.

4 – Ask for support

How could we create structure? We needed childcare.

So I reached out and by Monday morning had two sitters lined up. Both are phenomenal.

This isn’t luck. This is alignment.

I knew exactly the support I needed and I asked for it.

This can be challenging when we think that we somehow don’t deserve it. We make it harder than it needs to be.

5 – Practice gratitude

Today, as I write this, I feel elated. I’m grateful for the lessons. I’m grateful for the opportunity.

I’m back in a place of trusting that we were brought here for a reason and that that path will continue to reveal itself to us.

We don’t need to have it all figured out.  We don’t need all the answers.

Neither do you.

Surrender into the abyss of the transition, take in the medicine of the circumstance that is happening for you.

Leave a comment below:

Are you in transition? Do you feel ungrounded? Do you have a life circumstance that feels overwhelming? Share what’s alive for you.

 

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