I’ve been suffering over the past few weeks.
I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life, one that I don’t actually feel comfortable talking about, but I’ll tell you this much: it put me through the ringer, bringing up so much anger, doubt, frustration and fear. It challenged me at my core and I am still navigating my way through it.
On top of that, the last 6 weeks have been the busiest I’ve had in a very very long time. We are about to roll out a new program and it has taken me countless hours of writing, editing and video shooting. It feels like a never ending project that has taken all of my capacity (on top of the other programs we are currently holding space for).
All I want is some freakin’ space. Thank goddess I have circle tomorrow night and have scheduled a women’s weekend getaway at the end of the month for my birthday.
Needless to say, I got a giggle from a meme that Alexi Panos posted this morning:
“Being an adult is just saying ‘but after this week things will slow down a bit again’ to yourself until you die.”
I’ve literally been saying to myself:
“As soon as I finish this project, things will slow down. I can relax. I can take a breath.”
So when Lisa Joy Stromsmoe came on today’s FB LIVE with me to lead a meditation to activate goddess Durga’s energy, it was a huge affirmation and energetic shift for me.
If my desire is connection and spaciousness, I have to let go, soften and surrender.
I can’t wait until things slow down, because they won’t.
My suffering is coming from the tension and heaviness that I’m creating around my so-called “lack of time.”
My suffering is coming from my need to CONTROL it all, instead of just TRUSTING THE PROCESS.
Spaciousness comes from within.
Can you relate?
Do you feel like you never have enough time? Or perhaps feel completely overwhelmed by all that you are holding?
What if it’s not TIME that’s the problem, but simply your mindset/belief system around it?
Something to ponder over 🧐
I’d love to hear what opens up for you around your own suffering and desires after watching this video: