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EP 35: Passing the Gates of Surrender into the Abyss

* The Surrender: next stage of The Heroine’s Journey *

After examining “The Split” with the feminine over the past 3 episodes, we are transitioning into “The Surrender,” regarded as the tipping point for reconnecting with the divine feminine. This part is confronting because it requires letting go of all the judgments – fear, abandonment, guilt, and/or shame – that come up around our identities. And it brings up fear because we don’t know what’s on the other side of this initiation. The abyss is the fertile void of the feminine where we are in the nothingness. It is in this dark mystery that we can rebirth ourselves as spiritual adults.


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In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How the heroine’s journey leads you to becoming a spiritual adult, what that means and how to get there
  • A Release Ritual to let go of fear, abandonment, guilt, and/or shame around your sexuality, using your intuition, and expressing yourself
  • How your “strategy” and coping mechanisms have been a safety net to serve you and what to do when you are ready to step into what’s next


Tanya’s Key Insights and Ahas:

2:12 – Second phase called The Surrender on the Heroine’s Journey

3:19 – surrender is required for deepest reconnection with the divine feminine because it is the mystery

Trust in the feminine, trust ourselves and trust our sisters as a reflection of the divine feminine within ourselves
4:40 – passing the gates of judgement in the abyss
5:12 – bypassing of the dark and fear of the abyss, discussion of death and the life cycle
7:55 – what are the gates – a rebirth into spiritual adult where we are embodied with depth and maturity
9:30 – the various initiations or passages in a woman’s life, passing the threshold into a new way of being, a new realm
10:50 – unravel conditioning of patriarchy and giving up the old way of being to pass the threshold on this heroine’s journey
11:45 – strategies to stay safe in patriarchy
12:30 – coming out of the closet as a “witch” or spiritual woman connected with the earth and reclaiming your full feminine power
14:00 – stepping into the enchantress and feeling guilt and shame around your sexuality
14:45 – demonized Eve, Mary Magdalene and other embodied women in history
16:00 – letting go of relationships
17:10 – the release ritual
19:15 – the power of being witnessed in circle to release guilt and shame
20:40 – what are the roles I’m unconsciously playing? what do I feel stuck in? What do others expect of me?
21:43 – I can start to see I’ve been living in a spiritually parched desert with my roles, identities, jobs and relationships have kept me in the matrix
23:00 – If I let go of all of the roles, jobs, relationships – everything I have been tolerating – and get to the nothingness, who am I, do I matter and do I exist?
23:45 – my story when I asked myself this question
26:50 – ayahuasca journey
31:35 – Isis remembering Osiris
32:50 – asking the questions and then being fully in it and letting it all go
34:10 – we have to be willing to risk it all
35:05 – your strategies are your safety net – there’s a reason and a benefit which makes it hard to step out
37:00 – the lure of the creature comforts of the Matrix
38:15 – it’s always a choice, but to keep the vision and listen to the soul calling
39:10 – tools to self-regulate

How to be BRAVE:

Share in the comments:

What fear, abandonment, guilt, and/or shame is associated with giving up your old way of being? Your strategies?


Takeaways For You:

It’s a brave act to release and let go of roles, relationships, jobs, obligations, and “shoulds.” Stop the go go go and see what’s there. Feel the emptiness. Feel how your heart is starved, unfulfilled, soul is an arid desert.



Feminine Genius book by LiYana Silver, who talks about the story of Isis

Somatic Experiencing

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