As long as I can remember, my friendships always consisted of being a part of a triad.
In elementary, I had a close friend, who had a best friend. The same thing was repeated in junior high and high schoo.
Oddly enough, when I started my Business of Circle program, I was matched with … you guessed it, two accountability partners.
Being in a triad does has had its advantages as my friends are friends with each other and there is no awkwardness of women not knowing each other.
On the other hand, though, it has been incredibly painful feeling left out.
Today, I consider myself “best friends” with a woman who repeatedly posts about her “best friend” and the photos are of her with another friend. Every time I see one of those posts, it feels like a betrayal over and over again, a knife in my heart.
For fear of losing this friendship or causing a fight, I have stayed mute on the issue for a really long time.
When I discovered women’s circle, it felt like coming home. Every woman is equal in circle. Sure, some women come with their friends or their mothers or their sisters, but the competitiveness falls away. Circle is a judgement free zone where I feel safe to share my sister wounds and not feel judged or “less than” or “enough.”
I’m also learning about how these friendships are a reflection of how I am feeling on the inside: they reflect where I feel like I’m not “enough.”
As a mother, I’m seeing my daughter struggle with her friendships as well. Needless to say, I feel very triggered when this happens and keep telling myself that this has to stop. So I brought her to circle and she asked me to start mother and daughter circles.
As women, we have the choice to stop this cycle and create a world where women feel safe to share their feelings without being judged or told they are “too much” or “not good enough.”
And the way we can do that is through circle.
My work as a Sistership Circle facilitator lights me up and makes me feel like this work is actually making a difference, not only for myself but for all the women that circle is touching.
In circle we can come into unity to heal the sister wound together so we no longer feel disconnected, separate and competitive with one another. We can create a new paradigm of real, authentic sisterhood.
