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To let go or not to let go

To Let Go or Not to Let Go

Along my journey of living, growing, loving, enjoying, learning & evolving, there is one particular area that I found myself struggling with, until recently. 2016 is really proving to be the year of gently unfolding answers for me.

We meet many people along our journey. As Ralph Smart put it, there are no negative or positive people – there are simply those who we do or do not resonate with. There are times when it’s quite a simple decision to cut someone loose.

But what if it’s someone we’re related to?

I had a falling out, a year ago, with my youngest sister and, subsequently, my stepmother.

We are the creators of our reality and we invite in each & every person and situation that becomes a part of our lives – no matter how brief. When other people are involved, we are co-creating – there are beliefs, in each person, that brings us together. There are also lessons to be learned for both (or more) parties. Everything always happens for a reason.

For a long time, I second-guessed my decision to put distance between myself and my sister. I kept thinking that I need to be unconditional with my love, and to just let it go, let it go and to be more accepting.

As time went on, though, I had other thoughts: if it had been a friend or passerby treating me in the way that my youngest sister had, I would have no issue in showing them the door. It was the whole, “but she’s your sister, she’s family” thing running around my head.

Eventually, I came to a conclusion that really resonated with me: blood makes you related; it doesn’t necessarily make you family. I have long-time friends and even newer mates, who I really value, who would not have pulled the stunts that my sister did. Our family does not have to be those we are born with; we create our own families, as we go along in life.

Yes, it was me who had the issue with her behaviour. But I’ve gradually seen the lessons in this debacle. I (co)created this situation with my youngest sister. Through it, I have progressed in the learning of my self-worth. The situation was bit of a catalyst for a lot of learning, on a new path, and I see the many doors that have opened in front of me, in these past 12-18 months.

I trust my instincts with people – all people. Those I’m related to, those I’m not; friends I’ve had for years and new acquaintances. I don’t have to resonate with everyone and I don’t have to resonate with those I know, all of the time.

There is nothing wrong with putting space between yourself and someone you’re not vibing with. What would be the benefit in doing so otherwise? We need to trust our instincts, respect ourselves and love ourselves enough to say, “No. I deserve better than this. I don’t appreciate nor deserve this type of behaviour.” And this is why we create these scenarios.

Outsiders can easily say, “Oh, but you’ve brought this person into your life; you can’t blame them for not liking their behaviour.” But what if we did bring them into our lives, to learn all of the above lessons?

Also, I’ve learnt to be very grateful for my “family”. For those who I truly do resonate with, blood and non-blood. The people who make my heart sing and who I excitedly look forward to in my next interaction with. Aren’t those the sort of people we should always be surrounding ourselves with?

We came here to enjoy life and to share experiences with those who we resonate with. Appreciate the lessons that you learn, from those you don’t resonate with, and look forward to what new doors will open from your interaction with them. Love yourself, trust your judgment. And NEVER second-guess yourself.


Emma Davis is on a journey of self-love and self-acceptance. She is playing her part in our collective conscious awakening. She finds being a mother & wife fulfilling and revels in the lessons and joy that those roles bring. You can visit her at


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